Roz just sent me this.
For cat lovers and haters alike...
Thursday, July 8, 2010
I Am Old
I must be. There is less every day that I understand. There is less I care to even pretend I understand.
Case in point: Justin Bieber. Really. I will admit to barely understanding my friends going crazy over David Cassidy and Donny Osmond back in the day. I really, really didn't get the Osmond thing. Guess I've never been a fan of wholesome. Anyway. This Bieber kid. Take a boo at this pic.
Oh, dear. If you can make a buck being a screaming teen sensation, more power to you. If you can manage to do it and stay out of jail (yeah, I'm looking at you, Lindsay), even more power to you.
But please. Can we have children refrain from grabbing their baby genitals on stage? Please? First it's Miley Cyrus prancing around in her underwear every place I look, and now this wholesome little Canadian boy, with his tiny little chipmunk voice, going for gold. Are mothers everywhere - especially his own - not cringing?
Sing. Sing like the wind. Dance. Make money. Go back to school so you don't get ripped off by your 'managers'. But when your average fan is about 12, I'm gonna suggest you an leave the sexy sexy for another time.
Case in point: Justin Bieber. Really. I will admit to barely understanding my friends going crazy over David Cassidy and Donny Osmond back in the day. I really, really didn't get the Osmond thing. Guess I've never been a fan of wholesome. Anyway. This Bieber kid. Take a boo at this pic.
Oh, dear. If you can make a buck being a screaming teen sensation, more power to you. If you can manage to do it and stay out of jail (yeah, I'm looking at you, Lindsay), even more power to you.
But please. Can we have children refrain from grabbing their baby genitals on stage? Please? First it's Miley Cyrus prancing around in her underwear every place I look, and now this wholesome little Canadian boy, with his tiny little chipmunk voice, going for gold. Are mothers everywhere - especially his own - not cringing?
Sing. Sing like the wind. Dance. Make money. Go back to school so you don't get ripped off by your 'managers'. But when your average fan is about 12, I'm gonna suggest you an leave the sexy sexy for another time.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Stop the Losses
Reading of yet another person drowning here in Ontario is breaking my heart.
This doesn't have to happen. I've always said that if you live in Canada, you have to know how to swim and skate. The difference, of course, is that if you can't skate it won't kill you. But knowing how to swim should be as fundamental as learning how to walk. We have a lot of lakes and pools. Kids should rightly be able to safely play in them; everyone should be able to.
We've had a cottage on a small, deep, quiet lake for nearly 40 years. We've all known how to swim since we were toddlers; my British mother, who nearly drowned herself in England in a huge, crowded public pool, made sure of it. She didn't like swimming, but she hauled us all the Y, first in Hamilton, then in Burlington when it opened, to make sure we would be safe. We all took lessons, and at the cottage, there were rules.
We could never swim alone. Someone had to be on the dock. If you have kids (and yes, even teens), someone needs to be watching who isn't in the pool or lake. Little ones should never be beyond arms reach, and if there is no life guard on duty, someone needs to sit out. You can't see what's going on if you're splashing and swimming yourself.
You know those ads they're running now about staying away from waters near power generator stations? Make sure your kids see them. Calm water can develop instantly strong currents when power stations affect the flow. There are signs; beg, bribe or threaten your kids to obey them.
My Dad wasn't much of a rule guy, but whenever he swam the length of our lake, one of us had to canoe alongside him. He never, ever held the rope or needed help. But that wasn't the point. A cramp can kill you, and he knew it.
If you're at a cottage or camp, do not go on boats or sea-doos without life jackets. Just do not. Tell the kids it's not because they can't swim: it's in case they slip and smack their head. And, please, do not put your kids in jackets and then decline to wear one yourself. This makes me nuts to see.
If you have guests with you, ask if they are swimmers. If not, treat them like 2-year-olds in the water. Don't let them out of your reach.
Don't swim drunk.
Make sure you know how to float if you get in trouble. Sounds basic, but panicking usually does people in first. First of every season, make everyone practice for a few minutes. Get in trouble, flip on your back.
Those little blow up water wings are dangerous. Stupid dangerous crap from the dollar store should not be amongst your swimming gear. Make sure you have a decent flutter board on hand: it's a cheap, easy thing to take out to anyone, and may save a life you have to haul back to shore.
To families who have lost people, I'm so sorry. To everyone else, don't let it happen again. Nature is spectacular, but she's always gonna win if you test her.
This doesn't have to happen. I've always said that if you live in Canada, you have to know how to swim and skate. The difference, of course, is that if you can't skate it won't kill you. But knowing how to swim should be as fundamental as learning how to walk. We have a lot of lakes and pools. Kids should rightly be able to safely play in them; everyone should be able to.
We've had a cottage on a small, deep, quiet lake for nearly 40 years. We've all known how to swim since we were toddlers; my British mother, who nearly drowned herself in England in a huge, crowded public pool, made sure of it. She didn't like swimming, but she hauled us all the Y, first in Hamilton, then in Burlington when it opened, to make sure we would be safe. We all took lessons, and at the cottage, there were rules.
We could never swim alone. Someone had to be on the dock. If you have kids (and yes, even teens), someone needs to be watching who isn't in the pool or lake. Little ones should never be beyond arms reach, and if there is no life guard on duty, someone needs to sit out. You can't see what's going on if you're splashing and swimming yourself.
You know those ads they're running now about staying away from waters near power generator stations? Make sure your kids see them. Calm water can develop instantly strong currents when power stations affect the flow. There are signs; beg, bribe or threaten your kids to obey them.
My Dad wasn't much of a rule guy, but whenever he swam the length of our lake, one of us had to canoe alongside him. He never, ever held the rope or needed help. But that wasn't the point. A cramp can kill you, and he knew it.
If you're at a cottage or camp, do not go on boats or sea-doos without life jackets. Just do not. Tell the kids it's not because they can't swim: it's in case they slip and smack their head. And, please, do not put your kids in jackets and then decline to wear one yourself. This makes me nuts to see.
If you have guests with you, ask if they are swimmers. If not, treat them like 2-year-olds in the water. Don't let them out of your reach.
Don't swim drunk.
Make sure you know how to float if you get in trouble. Sounds basic, but panicking usually does people in first. First of every season, make everyone practice for a few minutes. Get in trouble, flip on your back.
Those little blow up water wings are dangerous. Stupid dangerous crap from the dollar store should not be amongst your swimming gear. Make sure you have a decent flutter board on hand: it's a cheap, easy thing to take out to anyone, and may save a life you have to haul back to shore.
To families who have lost people, I'm so sorry. To everyone else, don't let it happen again. Nature is spectacular, but she's always gonna win if you test her.
Hell's Kitchen
Argh. Make it stop. I had a few lucid moments in the middle of a raging 3 day (so far) migraine, and wasted too many of them watching this show last night. I used to kinda like this show. I totally love Kitchen Nightmares, especially the original. I admit it: I love Ramsay.
But this show has to go. It's shite. Total shite. I'm watching people who are basically less able than I am in the kitchen duke it out with sharp knives and dull wits.
Seriously. Most of the 'contestants' can't frigging cook. Some guy on there now is a high school cooking teacher. I'm all 'bring on the muffins!', the only thing I was taught. There is a huge difference between a cook and a chef. Even I know this. And trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear is ludicrous. And if you believe for a second that any of the 'winners' actually go on to lead major kitchens, I'll eat Ari's new flipflops.
The swearing isn't entertaining; the yelling is over the top; why anyone is lined up to be on this show is beyond me. I can't name nor recognize a single contestant after, what, 3 years? Worst of all, I don't believe that Ramsay is actually even that much of a lunatic madman. Which makes him a very bad actor.
My friend Jodi Kasten, who knows more about this than I do, does a wonderful job here with her breakup letter to Ramsay. They're done. I wonder who got custody of the good pots.
But this show has to go. It's shite. Total shite. I'm watching people who are basically less able than I am in the kitchen duke it out with sharp knives and dull wits.
Seriously. Most of the 'contestants' can't frigging cook. Some guy on there now is a high school cooking teacher. I'm all 'bring on the muffins!', the only thing I was taught. There is a huge difference between a cook and a chef. Even I know this. And trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear is ludicrous. And if you believe for a second that any of the 'winners' actually go on to lead major kitchens, I'll eat Ari's new flipflops.
The swearing isn't entertaining; the yelling is over the top; why anyone is lined up to be on this show is beyond me. I can't name nor recognize a single contestant after, what, 3 years? Worst of all, I don't believe that Ramsay is actually even that much of a lunatic madman. Which makes him a very bad actor.
My friend Jodi Kasten, who knows more about this than I do, does a wonderful job here with her breakup letter to Ramsay. They're done. I wonder who got custody of the good pots.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
CHCH Live@5:30 Tuesday
To circumcise, or not to circumcise. That is the question...
Oh, uncross your legs. I'm not standing here with a kniife. Your parents made that decision long ago...and hence our discussion today at 5:30, repeat at 11:30.
Oh, uncross your legs. I'm not standing here with a kniife. Your parents made that decision long ago...and hence our discussion today at 5:30, repeat at 11:30.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Will I Put My Money Where My Mouth Is?
I dunno.
The Timesonline is one of my favourite reads. Truly. But they've gone back to a subscription, in answer to the general decay of the news gathering process. You want good stuff, you pay. Here's one of those 'in theory' things. In theory, yes. In practice, damn.
I've long considered that when I open my cable/internet/phone bill each month, and gape at the 190-something dollars it drains from my account (HST just added a little; I believe in that too, so shut up) and I think, "really? all that money so we can watch Mythbusters and Friends re-runs?". And somehow I manage to convince myself that bundling up interests and selling them out as a package makes sense. So when I see the Times wants some coin, I think "bundle it up with a bunch of others, and I'll pay". But to do stand-alone subscriptions is death.
What I really wanted to say was that I was getting all ready to link Jeremy Clarkson's review of the new Rolls-Royce Ghost for you. It ran in the Wheels section of the Star today, but due to constraints of the syndication agreement, the Star can't run it on their site. So, I was helpfully going to link it directly from the Times' site, where it ran a couple of weeks ago. Only I can't. So. There's that.
Why do I care, you ask? Well, it's an awesome review. And I'm going to go drive the new Ghost myself next week, so for once, I could tell you if Jeremy is full of crap, or brilliant. Hint: I'm firmly in the love him camp, and it's a great review. Go buy today's Star. In the meantime, here's the link to the Top Gear review and pics.
And I'll write up my take on the new Rolls next week. Once I get past 'oh, pretty....'
The Timesonline is one of my favourite reads. Truly. But they've gone back to a subscription, in answer to the general decay of the news gathering process. You want good stuff, you pay. Here's one of those 'in theory' things. In theory, yes. In practice, damn.
I've long considered that when I open my cable/internet/phone bill each month, and gape at the 190-something dollars it drains from my account (HST just added a little; I believe in that too, so shut up) and I think, "really? all that money so we can watch Mythbusters and Friends re-runs?". And somehow I manage to convince myself that bundling up interests and selling them out as a package makes sense. So when I see the Times wants some coin, I think "bundle it up with a bunch of others, and I'll pay". But to do stand-alone subscriptions is death.
What I really wanted to say was that I was getting all ready to link Jeremy Clarkson's review of the new Rolls-Royce Ghost for you. It ran in the Wheels section of the Star today, but due to constraints of the syndication agreement, the Star can't run it on their site. So, I was helpfully going to link it directly from the Times' site, where it ran a couple of weeks ago. Only I can't. So. There's that.
Why do I care, you ask? Well, it's an awesome review. And I'm going to go drive the new Ghost myself next week, so for once, I could tell you if Jeremy is full of crap, or brilliant. Hint: I'm firmly in the love him camp, and it's a great review. Go buy today's Star. In the meantime, here's the link to the Top Gear review and pics.
And I'll write up my take on the new Rolls next week. Once I get past 'oh, pretty....'
I Be Twitting
Don't say it.
I'm trying to do that Twitter thing. You an find me under my name, or Tweeet Lorraine. That's not a typo. The other one was taken.
Be quiet. It's better than a bunch of dashes or underlines, or when you see a vanity plate with Diane218 on it.
There's a link on my home page. I aim to be informative and erudite. Or at least mildly amusing.
I'm trying to do that Twitter thing. You an find me under my name, or Tweeet Lorraine. That's not a typo. The other one was taken.
Be quiet. It's better than a bunch of dashes or underlines, or when you see a vanity plate with Diane218 on it.
There's a link on my home page. I aim to be informative and erudite. Or at least mildly amusing.
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