Unfortunate Acronyms

I remember when I was a kid, my mom, who was always on one diet or another, tried these silly little chewy candy things called Ayds. Ayds Diet Plan. I think the idea was you tossed two of the nasty little spongey things down your gullet, and they would kill the hunger pangs until you sat down to a tasty lunch of a lettuce leaf, half a cup of lumpy cottage cheese, and a sprig of parsley. At least that's what I recall.

Of course, in the 1980s when Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome reared its ugly, dreadful head, the acronym AIDS was screaming from every headline except Ronald Reagan's to-do list. And the AYDS diet plan? Dead in the water. RIP, AYDS.

I hadn't thought about that in awhile, until I looked at my calendar today. I usually use the Milk calendar, but this year from some reason, they changed the layout and I hate it. So. I'm using one from Subaru, which has the correct layout. Each month features a different car, which I only kind of glance at, to be honest. My calendar is about orthodontist appointments and birthdays, not pictures. Flipping back, I realized that July was an Impreza. An Impreza WRX STI 2009, to be precise. And the large print headline under the car? "Are You STI Ready?"

Remember when sexually transmitted diseases changed names? We went from the Clap to STDs. Well, guess what. They've recently changed it again. To STI. Sexually Transmitted Infections.

And Subaru wants to know if I'm STI ready.

Uhm, no.

Look for a name change come 2010.